20. Based on a random word – Artificial

Listen to the essays read by Zac and Cass. Pop How Coca-Cola brews their famous blend of brown fizz, and where they grow their impeccable citric acid is something everyone must fantasize about from time to time. The way the carbonated water brings out the nuttiness of the caramel colour, and those deep notes of […]

19. An Interaction with a Stranger

Crust I wish more people cared about homeless people. Doesn’t it seem like humans spend too much time and money arguing over who’s allowed into public washrooms and pampering labradoodles, and not enough time on an entire population of people who sleep on the ground? I am captivated by the struggle these people have had […]

18. Mother’s Day

Spitz My mom used to paint her nails on long car rides. She would take off her glasses and squint down at the tiny paint brush, keeping a steady hand as Dad drove over potholes and CBC played over the radio. The smell of acetone filled the air and made us kids feel nauseous.  We […]

17. The Best Concert

Listen to the essays here or on Spotify. Smoke We spent that afternoon walking up and down the area of Haight & Ashbury, going in and out of vintage clothing boutiques and record stores. We loosely kept track of the time, the way you should on your first day of a winter vacation. Back home, […]

16. Describe Your Time in High School

Ace I’ve tried hard my entire life. Every team I was on, every class I was in and every test I took, I aimed for the greatest possible result. I prepared, I practiced and I played to win. Then I reached high school. In high school, I completely eliminated any desire to succeed or improve. […]

15. What is the Best Quality a Person Can Have?

Peanut Listen to the essays here or on Spotify. I may not ever become a famous novelist or land a job copywriting for Coca Cola. I will never have a Kendall Jenner complexion or be able to rap lines like Lil Wayne. The volleyball skills I had back in college? Gone. The math scores I […]

14. What Are You Afraid of?

Listen to the essay instead. Calendars I don’t get out much. I haven’t worn pants in three weeks. I refuse to shave, which is especially horrifying as I usually razor my head and my face weekly. Right now I’m slouched over like a lobotomy patient with seventeen hairs tickling my lips and a piece of […]

13. What Makes Your Hometown Special?

Prefer to listen to the essays? Click here. Minnedosa I’ve always wanted to experience my hometown for the first time – as someone who has never even mumbled the words, Minnedosa. I want to drive around the bend on highway 10, expecting to see another long stretch of passing lanes and hydro poles, only to […]

12. Describe Suppertime as a Kid

Ammo As if we were all allowed to play the Grand Theft Auto video games growing up. Christ. The games were essentially you, a child, living the life of a career criminal. The objective of the entire series is to literally complete as many crimes as you can. Whatever happened to Mario Kart? I just […]

11. A Place That’s Special to You

Honey Dill My mom put the van in park under the diner’s yellow lights. Outside the tiny takeout window was the usual line-up of kids in soccer cleats, licking perfect swirls of vanilla ice cream. I went inside to the front counter. There was a bell you could ring for service and a menu on […]

10. Your Favourite Local Spot

The Black Bird Brasserie People have called me an old soul. Other people have called me a waste of time. But let’s stick to the positives, for once. There’s a list of things I could present you with that makes a person an old soul, beyond the two Paul Newman films they’ve seen. It may […]

9. Describe Who You Were as a Child

House Christmas morning at the Cardy residence in the early 2000s could guarantee a couple of things. There would be four stockings laying by the fireplace, each with a mandarin orange in the toe and filled with a mix of peanuts and M&Ms. There would be Mom’s Pantry croissants coming out of the oven, golden, […]

8. Your Worst Habit

Pharoah I touch door knobs. I touch toilet flushers. I touch keyboards. I touch dirt. Then I touch my mouth. Constantly. My worst habit is feasting on my fingernails. I gnaw like an uptown fat rat in festering garbage. I chomp like an untrained mutt on dad’s all white new balances. With the preciseness of […]

7. The Greatest Movie Moment

Savor My three cousins and I, the girls I’ve clung to my whole life, were renting a cabin for the weekend to celebrate a birthday and talk weddings. All of us in our twenties and tipsy off wine and rye, walked down to the outdoor hot tub of the resort and claimed our corner of […]

6. What Do You See When You Look in the Mirror?

Lug Walrus man. Balding capybara. The human potato. Egg head. Baboon ass red face. Bulging shoulders. Chiselled jawline. Leprechaun grin. Squinty, pretty eyes. Mirrors talk back. They twist our idea of who we are. One day you’re a flawless covergirl, the next you’re a bulbous potato chip aficionado. Salt and vinegar is such a classic […]

5. Something You Hate, but Everyone Else Loves

Queen With a vodka water lime in one hand and my Snapchat story in the other, I’m trying to take a video of my friend dancing up on the DJ’s stage. Our straightened hair clings to our sweaty faces while we drop low to T-Pain and bounce to some Fetty Wap beat. For hours, we […]

4. How You De-stress

Duck I smell the urine of an asshole with bad aim. I smell the cesspool of unwashed bodies squeezed into compression shirts. I smell the dirt dragged in from the world outside, then pummelled into an upright, outstanding citizen. I once was that dirt. But from the moment I walked into Pan Am Boxing Club, […]

3. Your Guilty Pleasure

Water-Cooler They say you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Let’s do the math. I live with my boyfriend and an orange tabby we call Fry. The three of us spend a lot of time together, eating dinner, washing dishes, and falling asleep to Restaurant Impossible in our […]

2. Your First Job

Slop I wonder what boobs feel like. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to grow side burns. I wonder how Jason Mraz does it. I wonder if my baby fat will ever leave my body. Maybe it’ll stay and then turn into adult fat. I wonder how I’ll change the world. I wonder how […]

1. The Most Memorable Meal You’ve Ever Had

Crumbs Driving two hours to Grandma’s house meant there would be a breeze instead of an air conditioner and a pair of yellow, rubber gloves where a dishwasher could be. Her house meant savouring the soft centre of cinnamon buns and hearing crickets in the carpeted hallway before bed. It meant drinking Coke and staying […]